How “we” doing today?
The first time somebody in a doctor’s office asked me this question, I was totally thrown. It was something healthcare professionals ask old people. To this girl, I was old, at least twice her age. It was my first encounter with ageism in healthcare.
And I hated it. I’m also guilty of having talked to older patients like that. They’re not overgrown children. They deserve respect. Patients come to us in their most vulnerable situations. They need to know they won’t be treated as less than human.
It’s up to healthcare providers to know how to communicate with patients. It’s not enough to just tell them everything they need to know – we have to do it with respect. Don’t call patients “honey, sweetie”. Introduce yourself (please!!) and tell them what your role is. Greet them by name, and attach the title they are most comfortable with (Mr., Mrs., Dr., Reverend, Rabbi, Roshi). If you’re not sure – ask them.
Ageism goes both ways. Just because someone on your care team is younger than you are doesn’t mean he’s not perfectly competent to do a job. If you’re the patient or a caregiver participating in a care encounter, don’t treat your healthcare provider as if she’s too young to know what she’s doing. We’ve had training. Your nurse, medical technician, doctor, social worker, or lab tech might look younger than you, but they’re there for a reason. They’ve gone through the training it takes to be your care provider.
For you healthcare professionals, remember that your patients are experts in how they want to be treated. Listen to what they say. Watch how they respond. Being alert to visual and auditory cues will give you a sense of how well you’re doing. Be flexible enough to make changes when it’s needed.
And for hospice professionals, being skilled at communication is crucial to creating bonds between patients and the interdisciplinary team. We can’t just walk into someone else’s crisis and expect to set up shop in their lives without doing the work. Listen to what your patients and their families are saying, and pay attention to how they respond to what you say.
How we communicate as healthcare professionals matters to our patients. It forms the foundation on which we’ll provide all our other care interventions. So learn how to talk. Be there to listen. Simply sit in presence when it’s needed. How do you talk to your patients?
No matter who you are, or where you are in your hospice journey, you are The Heart of Hospice.
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