This week’s blog is by our friend Hazel Bridges of agingwellness.org. How’s your sleep? If you’re grieving (anticipatory grief or bereavement), it might be affecting your sleep. Read Hazel’s blog and do a self-evaluation to see how you’re managing your sleep hygiene. Thanks, Hazel!
You can click here to check out agingwellness.org.
Sleep and Grief: A Self-Evaluation
Grief changes you. It can change the way you feel, the way you react to people, and the way you take care of yourself. One of the most affected aspects of life after loss is the ability to sleep. When the night gets still and you’re left with nothing but your thoughts, sleep becomes a wishful dream. Whether you’ve lost a spouse, child, sibling, parent, or friend, the pain can linger and keep you up at night.
The following self evaluation can help you narrow down issues that contribute to your inability to rest. Ask yourself these six questions before you ask your doctor about sleeping pills, which may be harmful to your health.
Are there factors in my environment that are affecting my health and ability to sleep?
Everything from noise to the air you breath at night affects your sleep patterns. Indoor air pollution is an invisible hazard that has a profoundly negative effect on your overall health. Breathing in mold, dust mites, dander, and airborne bacteria can give you a chronic cough and unending case of the sniffles. Clear the air by vacuuming regularly, changing your air filters at least once 90 days (sooner if you have allergies), and installing an air purifier in the bedroom.
Am I getting enough exercise?
If you’re not working out at least four days each week, now’s a great time to start. You need at least 2½ hours total of moderate to vigorously intense physical activities for optimum health. Exercise will not only help you get to sleep, but help you stay asleep. Factory Mattress reports that a paltry 11 percent of inactive individuals believe they get enough sleep.
What activities am I doing in the three hours before bed?
While exercise is important, you may want to keep your physical exertion to a minimum in the hours before settling down. Further, watching television, eating a heavy dinner, and drinking alcohol are all activities that should be banished before bedtime.
Do I have a set bedtime?
You’ve heard of the circadian rhythm. This is an internal clock that tells the body and brain when it’s time to be awake and when it’s time to sleep. When you’re suffering with grief, this internal timer can get knocked completely out of whack. But, it’s crucial to have a set sleep schedule in order to keep yourself on the right track.
Is my bedroom set up for sleep?
Take a look at your bedroom. Do you have curtains that adequately block outdoor light? Is your bed positioned as far away from noise as possible? Your bedroom must be set up to accommodate your specific sleep style. Every detail, from the position of your bed to the comfort of your mattress, matters. Invest in a mattress and bedding that keeps you comfortable and other accessories that allow you to wind down. Keep the thermostat set to 68 degrees (less if you’re a “hot” sleeper), and leave a set of earplugs and an eye mask on the nightstand. Your bedroom should be used for two things only: sleep and sex. If your spouse has passed, consider rearranging things, getting a new mattress, or moving rooms altogether.
Does my spouse or partner keep me up at night?
If you and your spouse/partner are on a separate sleep schedule or you find yourself constantly waking up to retrieve the covers or alert them of their snoring, it may be time for a sleep divorce. According to Bravo, 25 percent of all married couples sleep in different rooms and this nighttime separation saves marriages while promoting healthy sleep.
There’s a definite connection between sleep and grief. It is up to you to find factors that can help your mind to settle and your body wind down. You aren’t doing yourself – or your lost loved one – any favors by staying up all night.
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