Photo by Helen Bauer, The Heart of Hospice
This week we’re featuring a guest blog by our friend Trish Kreis from 365 Caregiving Tips. Trish is the author of Forever a Caregiver, and co-author of the 365 Caregiving Tips: Practical Tips from Everyday Caregivers book series. Many of these and other self-care tips can be found in the second book of the series, 365 Caregiving Tips: Travel and Respite, Practical Tips from Everyday Caregivers. Trish can be reached through the website www.365CaregivingTips.com, Facebook (www.facebook.com/365CaregivingTips), Twitter (@365CareTips) and Instagram (@365CaregivingTips). Great information from someone who knows caregiving first hand. Enjoy!
Many caregivers may give up on making resolutions for the New Year or decide to commit to the usual: lose weight and eat better. Those are good intentions for everyone but what caregiver hasn’t gone straight for the comfort food when our loved one takes a turn for the worse?
It’s okay. Don’t get caught up in judging yourself harshly for doing what you are naturally inclined to do: comfort yourself during a difficult time. Instead, let’s resolve to do one of these self-care tips each month throughout the year. Some are big and some are small and if you miss a month, that’s okay too! The goal is to keep ourselves healthy, happy and comforted while we spend our time and energy caring for our loved one.
Let Go of Judgment. How awful are we to ourselves sometimes? We are quick to kick ourselves for not having the time to prepare properly for a doctor appointment or being impatient with our loved one. Or, worse, we blame ourselves for something the doctor missed and we “should” have caught. No! We are not doing that this year. The beauty of this self-care tip is that it is natural to slide back into judgment but we can start over the next day with more kindness to ourselves. Yep. We are going to be kind to ourselves!
Get Outside. As caregivers, we are accustomed to planning every minute of our day. There are medications, appointments, bathroom runs, ordering supplies and handling everything else that comes up. There is not usually time for an afternoon in the park but there might be time for a few minutes out back just enjoying the sunshine or smelling the flowers. Even when our loved one is in the hospital it is important to step outside for a couple of minutes and just breathe in the fresh air. You absolutely deserve it.
Drink Water. Substitute the soda with sparkling water – there are many flavored sparkling waters out there and this “fancy” water is no longer expensive! It’s surprising how dehydrated we can get and how easily it is remedied. Keep water on hand at all times. In fact, I am going to refill my glass right this minute!
Take a Respite. I know from experience this is not easy to do. In fact, it is sometimes downright impossible (again, from experience). However, it doesn’t hurt to give it a try. Start with making a list of who can help you accomplish this: friends, family and doctors. Ask to be assigned a case manager who can be helpful in finding respite care for your loved one. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend or relative to stay with your loved one for a few hours. Of course it would be great if they offered but let’s not wait for that. Don’t worry about planning an elaborate vacation (although go for it if you want to) but keep sight of the goal of arranging a few hours to a few days just for you.
Take a Day off Work. Respite may not be an option but take advantage of the care you may have. Maybe your loved one goes to a Day Program while you work. Consider taking a day off to do what you want to do.
Listen to Music. Listening to music doesn’t take up any time and can be very soothing for both you and your loved one. It can also be energizing if dance music is your thing!
Connect with Someone. Pick up the phone, log in to the internet or visit with a neighbor. Create a support system with people who understand your situation and who can make you laugh or let you vent. Be picky about the online support groups you choose so you connect with others in similar situations and who you feel comfortable with. You may just end up with a life-long friend!
Be Silly and Laugh. Watch a funny movie or sitcom with your loved one – the laundry can wait a few hours.
Set up Your Own Space. Find a room, corner or other space that can be just for you. Make this space ready for you when you have a minute or two to yourself. Read, drink some tea, sew or crochet – whatever makes your heart happy. You will be more inclined to do these things if you have your own personal space already set up.
Take Ten. Make “take ten” your priority. Create a ten to fifteen minute break every day that is your time. No caregiving; no laundry; no interruptions. Find the time that works best for you and your loved one and work it into your usual caregiving routine. Write it on your calendar if you have to! Make it a priority appointment for you.
Get a Check Up. The last thing you want is to see another doctor but it is important to keep yourself healthy so you can continue to care for others. Do not wait for something traumatic to happen – get an annual check-up, get a physical and have your blood work done. We have to stay healthy for us and our loved one.
Move. We are deliberately avoiding the word “exercise.” It is so much easier to find time to move! It is not necessary to do a three hour work-out or to jump on the latest fitness craze but walking around the house or the hospital or in the backyard is doable. Do some jumping jacks and see the dogs go crazy!
Caregivers are extraordinary so we need some extra special resolutions for self-care. Let these self-care tips give you a great start to an amazing year!
About Trish: Trish Hughes Kreis works as a full-time Legal Administrator and is a freelance writer and videographer who advocates on behalf of her disabled youngest brother, Robert. Robert lives with intractable epilepsy, has an unwavering faith and a delightful way of declaring everything excellent. Robert has lived with Trish and her husband, Richard, for several years and they do their best to keep him happy, healthy and, of course, excellent.
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